My grandmother's a witch

My grandmas a witch.

Yea...

I love my grandma.
Shes a nice woman, and she has a lot of years behind her, so that makes her wiser than most of the people in my family. My grandma solves family arguments, gives suggestions that help people out, and is there for everyone every step of the way...

But shes weird.
Well... lets start with her cooking,
If she made a cookbook, it wouldn't be titled "grandmas cookbook" itd be "101 ways to die"
For example...

One thanksgiving, while everyone had pudding and turkey... we had rice, noodles, and rabbit in a pot.

It-was-gross-as-hell.

I could still feel that rabbit screaming in my belly.
One day, I was suppose to cook breakfast. Eggs, pork, cauliflour, and bacon was on the menu, of course, all on seperate dishes.

I was just cooking the bacon, 1 side of it was cooked, the other side, raw.
So.. I was just about to flip the other side...
But along came my grandma
BAM!
She dumps the caulitflour, eggs, and pork in the frying pan.

All one big ass combonation.
Im like "WHAT THE HELL?!?"
And, then, she cooks it herself..

None of us wanted to eat it
But we had to.

Another night, we had this soup.
Actually, it was more like a potion
Seaweed, pork, steak slices, baby shrimp, and fish eyes.

....

Yea..

And thats not all..
Like I said, my grandma has alot of years behind her.
I mean ALOT
shes about.. in her 70's
And she looks like shes in her 50's.
Lemme tell ya, shes doing really well at her 70's.
Not a trace of gray hair.

She runs really fast
Has the energy of a youth
Works all day
And one time, when the door was locked, and none of us could get inside, she comes up, and twists the knob, which opened the door. As if it werent locked.
Which was strange, because there was no logical explanation for that. Other than she practiced witchcraft.

And my hand.. it has eczema. Which has tons of blotches of dead, dry skin.
She pulled out this bucket of chinese tea. I dont know how she got it either. She dunks my hand into the bucket, which was burning hot. I screamed out loud in pain, and she held my hand there for along time.

But when I pulled my hand out, the blotches of skin were gone... and it was renewed..

But after a couple days, it came back.

Another time, my stomach was gurgling (you can guess why), and I was ready to throw up. She gave me a slice of ginger to chew up, and my stomach setttled, I didnt have to throw up anymore.

So.. yea..

Thats all I had on my mind today

Cheers